• Android user: My Galaxy S5 has 16 gb of RAM and a 16 megapixel camera. What does your shitty iPhone have?
  • iPhone user: Emojis
  • Android user: damn :/

allisonscrown:

"where’s my christian grey????” hopefully locked up in prison

(via guy)

Okay if you can’t fuck with a girl because of:

  • Pubic hair
  • Stretch marks
  • Scars 
  • Any other natural occurrence of the female form

You aren’t really worthy of it anyway.

(Source: begmebabygirl, via davidlueiz)

  • Potential employer: so what's your availabil-
  • Me: I AM AVAILABLE ALL THE TIME. ANY DAY. ALL HOURS. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO PLEASE HIRE ME